The Secret garden Meeting ~ July

The Secret Garden Meeting, formerly known as Under the Tree, is a "place" for bereaved parents to come together and share our hearts with those who understand. Here are this months questions:

How do you see or imagine your baby/ies now that you do not have them with you?

This is a hard one for me...I pray every night that my girls will visit me in my dreams, but they have not made it yet. In my mind I imagine them as chubby little happy babies with curly hair like their sister, tan skin like their brother, and just perfect in every way. I also picture them toddling along when they are a little older, trying to walk, but not too steady on their feet yet...Oh how I wish I could be there to catch them.

Sophia is my calm child, she was always so easy going. Ellie is the more spirited twin, she spent many days kicking me in the ribs. I still see them this way, Sophia mellow and Ellie a little mischievous. I take comfort in the fact that they always have been and always will be together, they will never be alone and that makes me feel better in some sort of way. I think of them being in a very beautiful place, surrounded by love, holding hands, and smiling.

How did the loss of your last pregnancy affect your choices/decisions about the birth of your subsequent pregnancy?

I don't think my pregnancy with Sophia and Ellie will affect the birth of a subsequent pregnancy, but will more so affect the pregnancy itself. When/If I become pregnant again, more precautions will be taken to prevent pre-term labor, a possible cerclage and progesterone shots, but as for the actual birth, I don't think anything has changed.