Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Father's Day

I wasn't sure how Father's Day was going to be for me. I seemed to be more worried about it than Mother's Day...I don't know why. Maybe I was still too numb to really be concerned with Mother's Day. Anyway, a few days before Father's Day I went to the Hallmark shop to buy cards. I was doing okay until I went to look for one for Hutch from me. I started to get emotional. Then I noticed a pregnant woman next to me...that made it even worse. I moved down so I wouldn't have to see her picking up the father-to-be cards. Then another pregnant woman came in to look at the FD cards too. So I am surrounded by pregnant women, have tears rolling down my cheeks, I'm sniffing, trying to be inconspicuous...but I don't think it worked so well. I really wanted to say, "Sorry, I know I seem emotional, but my husband & I just lost our twin girls. Looking at these cards is very difficult." But I knew they didn't need or care to know, so I found the cards I needed and got out of there.

Then there was Father's Day itself. As I previously mentioned, I wanted to surprise Hutch with the photos Carly had taken of Sophia & Ellie's names in the sand. I had them printed and framed. The night before, I wrote a letter to him explaining how I got these beautiful pictures and some things I have been feeling lately. He read the letter and looked at the pictures and just hugged me. It was one of those hugs that lasted longer than normal, the kind when someone just needs to be held for a little while. He got teary eyed (Hutch is not the type of guy to cry a whole lot) and said he loved them. Thank you Carly, they were so perfect!!!

The afternoon was spent with my family and then we had a quiet evening at home. So all in all it was a good day, and emotional day, spent missing our girls, but it was still good.

We love you Sophia & Ellie!!!


  1. Tina, I see that you have been to my new blogspot, For Your Tears. I have set this up for women to send me the name and address of someone in need. If you would like me to send you a handkerchief I would be pleased to do so.
    I have been reading your posts. You have had a very long journey since your son was born. You have had more burdens to carry then most. I am happy to see that you had Caryl do photos for you. I came across her sight a few months ago and was inspired by her to try my new blog.
    I pray for your comfort during your journey of heartache.

  2. Dear dear Tina, I sooo feel for you, and my emotions are still as raw as yours. Thank you for finding and following my blog. I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious angels, they have beautiful names. If I can help you in any way, just ask, my email is on my blog profile. Hugs, Nan
    PS. How is hubby dealing? I have created a men's forum if you are ok with sharing it with him...link on my blog as well. xoxo

  3. mother's day information such as the poems, sms,sayings,quates and all wllpapers are one
    undreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
    Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
    Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
    But only one mother the wide world over.

    The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.

    When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.