Back to Reality

Well, we are back from the beach and back to reality...laundry, cleaning house, going to birthday parties, more laundry, etc. Although I felt very melancholy while away, I still had a good time. I think the distractions and being out of my normal routine were good. I missed my girls terribly, but the break from my reality was much appreciated.

Here are a few things that happened while we were away:

I already wrote about the identical twin girl sighting...ugh!

One day we were shopping and out of the blue Emma said to me, "Mommy, I think every night Sophia & Ellie get down on their knees and pray that they can be down here with us." How sweet is that?? Every night we pray that our girls are well taken care of and that they come visit us in our dreams. But she thinks they pray to be here with our family; if only it were that easy...

We visited this little gallery that makes children's' handprint impressions from clay. We had both Brady's and Emma's handprints made when they were young and I wanted to have the same type of thing made for Sophia & Ellie. So we went back to this same gallery and talked to the owners Ross & Hedy. These are the sweetest, kindest, most compassionate "strangers" I have met in real life since losing my girls. I told them what I wanted and what it was for. Ross teared up and held my hands telling me that he is a parent too and understands how hard this must be for me. He said he can't quite understand because he has never lost a child, but he can only imagine. Hedy was just as sympathetic and was so quick to find a way to create my vision. We spent quite a bit of time talking to this wonderful couple and when we left I was very pleased with what we came up with. I can't wait to receive it!!! I will post pictures as soon as it comes.

I ran into someone I used to work with several years ago. She now lives in the town we were visiting and I bumped into her at the Farmer's Market. We chit-chatted for a few minutes and she asked me if we had had more children. Last time I saw her, we only had Brady. I told her we had Emma and we had just had twins in April, but lost them. This is the first person I have ran into that doesn't know our story and has asked about my children. This is the first time I have had that awkward feeling of what do I say. The moment was so brief to make the decision, but I guess I decided to tell her. She said how sorry she was and I must have gone on talking because I don't really remember where the conversation went after that. I feel like I need to contact her to explain, but I know she will ask others if she wants more information.

I tried to emulate Carly while on the beach. I wrote my girls' names in the sand and took some pictures. Lets just say I have a totally new appreciation for what she does! My photos look nothing like her beautiful pieces of art. I didn't think they would, but I had hoped for more. I might try it again next time we visit, but California beaches pale in comparison the the beautiful place where Carly photographs our sweet babies' names.

It is good to be home and back to the familiarity of my life, but we have plans to go again very soon. I just hope that next time all twins will stay at home!!!