Okay...Something is bothering me. I have this friend "S'. We have been friends for 25 years (wow, I am getting old!) We were best friends all through Junior High and High School. We were each others Maids of Honor at our weddings, we have been there for each other through the births of our children. But, we have drifted apart. We still see each other and talk , but we are not as close as we once were. I still consider her a dear friend, but our relationship has changed.
After we lost Sophia & Ellie I didn't hear from "S". We sent an e-mail to all our contacts stating what had happened and to please give us a few days before trying to contact us. Just thinking of writing that e-mail brings it all back...Anyway, I didn't hear from "S". She contacted my parents to see how things were, and a few weeks later I received a card from her. She wrote that her delay in sending the card was due to not having the right words to say, but then she realized that there was nothing she could say to make things better. She has called a few times for specific reasons, like to RSVP to Emma's party, to wish me a happy birthday, etc. She came over so we could exchange birthday gifts a couple months ago and last night we went to dinner.
Now through all the conversation and visits, I think she has only asked how I was doing once. The first time we spoke it came up, but she said she didn't want to get into everything over the phone, she would rather be there for me in person. So, I am thinking that at dinner last night she might ask how I am, she might mention my girls names, she will acknowledge my loss...Nope!!! She didn't ask, bring it up, or anything. I even mentioned being pregnant with the twins during another story, so she had an opening there.
I don't know how I feel about this. I think she probably just doesn't feel comfortable bringing it up, she doesn't want to hurt me, just like everyone else. But it does hurt me not to even acknowledge my girls. She is still a dear friend to me and I know she isn't doing this out of lack of support. I think I should have given her a "what to say/what not to say" brochure (do they make these :) so she feels more comfortable. Anyway...I just needed to get this out of my head! Thanks for "listening".
A Different Kind of Before and After
19 hours ago