What has helped you through out this new life the most. Is it your family? your faith? Support groups? A ritual? Music? Physical activity? A new interest? It could be anything. Tell us about how whatever it is has helped you. Please feel free to share photo's,videos, websites, support group information and so on.
Journaling and blogging have been constant in my life since losing my girls. I first started a journal because I had to get the thoughts out of my head. I was afraid of forgetting something, so I had to get it all down on paper. Then I turned to blogging. It is such a huge comfort to me to know that there are people out there that understand what I am feeling. It makes my life have a sense of normalcy during this not so normal circumstance. Also this community and all they have to offer amazes me. The first blog I stumbled upon was Carly's Names in the Sand. I could not wait until the day I could submit my name request. I would check many times a day to see if she had opened the requests up. I HAD to have my girls' names written and I cherish them every day. Thank you so much Carly for all you do for us.
Emma's preschool teacher also lost a baby about 15 years ago. She is a Godsend to me. Being able to talk to her and see that she has lived through the agony was comforting. There are also 2 women at my school that have lost babies many years ago. One of them has reached out to me since the school year began, the other I have not spoken to about it. She lost identical twin boys to TTTS about 25 years ago. I wonder if my story hits too close to home for her.
My family and friends helped me tremendously through the first few weeks of losing Sophia & Ellie. They sat with me, cried with me, held me, cleaned my house for me, cooked for me, and basically just loved me and my girls. My husband too was my rock during those early days.
Something else that has helped me is creating jewelry. I love working in their space, the room that was to be their nursery. I love the creative outlet it gives me and it does my heart good to know that maybe I have helped another family remember their baby who was gone too soon. Also, having a piece of jewelry to wear with Sophia's & Ellie's names is very comforting to me.
Another thing that has helped me make it through the very early, very dark days is my living children. I had to get out of bed to be there for them. I had to make their lives feel somewhat normal. I had to still be their mommy. Although there were times when I was not very good at this, it still gave me a purpose, a reason to keep living.
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1 week ago
Tina, I know what you mean about blogging. It stablizes me big time. It helps me to know that I am not alone in this grief. I am glad you have found some people that are a help to you, they make this lonely path a little more durable. I like the creative outlet too. I used to paint, once upon a time, but I have started the hope collages and for me it's like painting or drawing. I get to be creative. Love to the sky~
ReplyDeleteXX
The jewelry you make is so lovely Tina. What a lovely way of keeping the memory of your girls alive.
ReplyDeleteLove Jess x
Hi Tina, you have reminded me about my journal. I keep a journal of letters to my baby, Florence, interspersed with fragments of her story as I gained the strength to write them, and before I could forget the details.
ReplyDeleteYour jewellery is beautiful, I understand that need to create, although I've found my intense grief an inhibitor to my usual creativity, I'm hoping though that I'll get my usual creative urge back soon. I know it will be a meditation for me when it does.
I am grateful for blogger world too, cause I probably would have never met you. I don't want to say something good comes from something bad, but sometimes it kinda works out that way. Hugs to you friend, Nan xoxoxoxox
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more, blogging has become such a huge part of my life since we lost the boys. It helps to know that I am a part of a community where I can come in, ramble, vent, and not be judged.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
I wish that i had started a writing in a journal after i lost the boys. There is so much that i have forgotten and if i wrote it all down i would be able to remind myself of all the little datails that i have forgotten and maybe i would remember a little bit more from the first few months that are a blank for me. The first blog that i found was also carlys names site and i was the same with wanting my boys names done.
ReplyDeletexxx
I'm with you on the blogging!! A great outlet and way to connect with others. I'm so thankful that I came across it. I love the jewelry you create. I think it is so special and I love have pieces to remember.
ReplyDeleteTina--I'm glad you have someone "tangible" that you can talk to and can relate to you. I feel comforted and safe in this internet community of babyloss moms with expressing my feelings, fears, happiness, etc. But there are times that that as soon as I step away from my computer, I feel so alone again. I'm sure you feel the same so to have someone that has gone through it AND youfeel comfortable talking to them is very important.
ReplyDeleteAlso---I just cannot express enough how much I love the pieces you made for me. I have worn them both every day (or at least one of them). There are times I want to wear a T-shirt that says "I'm Chase's mom, too" because I am sooo proud of having him and his beautiful but so short life but I am a bit too reserved to do that! The jewelry you made me has the names of all four of my kids and to me it says exactly the same thing, just with way more grace ;). So you HAVE helped this bereaved mom and I am so grateful. Thankyoufor helping me celebrate the birth of a beautiful baby and sharing my joy every day.
love,
Christy
The jewelry is such a beautiful tribute to and reminder of your beautiful girls.
ReplyDeleteYou make beautiful jewelery, just like your Sophia and Ellie!
ReplyDeleteYour words are amazing, your jewelry is beautiful-I'm so glad you have all these outlets-even though the only real thing that would help is to have your beautiful girls back.
ReplyDeleteThat post could've been written by me. thanks for sharing, it's another way we help each other not feel so alone. HUGS
ReplyDeleteTina,
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to stop by because I was thinking about you. I was wondering if you'd be interested in doing a girls day somewhere near the beach. Maybe here in San Diego... I saw another blogger (stillifewithcircles.blogspot) that was planning a retreat in New Jersey and I thought it would be so neat to do something like that. I think we should plan something for us California girls. Even if it's months from now.
So true! I actually started writing the night I lost Andrew- and have a few journals that just contain letters that I wrote to him. It's so interesting to go back and read how my journey had gone over these last six years...
ReplyDeleteHugs!
I think it is wonderful that your children inspired you to create such beautiful things. Your jewelry is such a nice way to honor their memory.
ReplyDeleteI'm so with you about the blogging community - tremendous support. I can't think what a state I'd be in. Your jewelry looks so beautiful and it is such a lovely way to help others while you honour your babies. I imagine them watching over you as you work in what was to have been their room. (((Hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI just started blogging a week ago. We lost Lane on May 27th of this year. I wish now that I would have started sooner. I have always been a writer. But I put off Lane's story. And I have never blogged. I am really enjoying it.
ReplyDeleteYour jewelry is beautiful. Would it be ok if I put a link to it on my blog? I actually have 2 now :)