Today is the day...September 4, 2009. My due date with my girls. It is also Labor Day weekend and the one thing I won't be doing is laboring. I know that I would not have gone to term with my girls. I know they would have been born long ago, but it still hurts. Knowing they are not here with me just hurts.
Hutch & I are going to the beach again for the weekend. This time without the kids. We thought about taking them, but decided against it. I just want to be able to be sad, to cry, to be angry and not have to worry about them seeing me fall apart. I try not to have complete meltdowns in front of them very often.
Although I wish we were going for very different reasons, I am looking forward to some time away. I have been so overwhelmed lately, and I think some down time will be good for my heart and soul. Now if I could just have some little fairies come and do the cleaning, laundry, and shopping while I am gone...
Dearest Sophia & Ellie,
Mommy loves you girls and will be thinking of you all weekend, just like always. I so wish you were here with us right now. I know you would both be such a wonderful addition to our family. We miss you and love you sweet ones.
4 hours ago