I was driving home yesterday and as I turned onto our street I noticed a lot of cars at our neighbors’ house. As I got closer, I saw some balloons tied to the pillars out front. Then I saw it, the “Happy 1st Birthday” sign on the front door. Our next door neighbors’ were having a first birthday party for their twins. And it hit me…that should be us right now. WE should be having that party. I lost it for a moment because it all still hurts so badly to know they are not here with us, they will never have a real birthday party, I wont get to see them take their first steps, go to their first day of school, all those milestones you enjoy as parents.
I still miss my girls so much. I will admit that I am so busy these days that I don’t have a lot of time to let my mind go to the “what ifs” and “should have beens” and I guess that is a good thing. But sometimes the empty feeling still creeps in just from knowing they are gone.
I have so much to write, but no time to do it. I will try to get my thoughts down soon because I need to get them out of my head. I am checking your blogs when I can. I don’t always leave a comment, especially when I am reading from my phone, but I am still here and still thinking of all of you and your sweet babies.
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I'm sorry you had to see that. First birthdays upset me too. I guess every birthday they should be will be hard. Thinking of your sweet girl <3
ReplyDelete*hugs*
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, too, honey. Would love to see more photos if you feel like sharing - such a beauty. ((Hugs))
ReplyDeleteIt always seems like the everyday small things are the ones you are missing. So sorry.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the busyness and not thinking so much of the what ifs and all that. I'm sure that stung to see the birthday party going on.
ReplyDeleteElla should be having her first birthday this week, too. I've had a lot to blog about, but have been busy too (in a good way, thank goodness). Thinking of you and all of your girls. xo
ReplyDeleteI don't think the first ever get any easier. So sorry your heart is hurting. Know that we honor Sophia and Ellie always. Praying for you always.
ReplyDeleteWow. That had to be hard to see. I can't believe that sometimes time is flying by so fast. The milestones that could have happened keep flying by without them.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate and it hurts. It really hurts.
ReplyDeleteHugs...
((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI know how it hurts to see things like that. Just seeing little girls about their age really stings. I guess to some extent it always will. Thinking of you and your girls.
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