Thank you for all your help with the choices I have ahead of me. Please keep the advice coming, because I still am unsure of so many things!!
To clear a few things up on the names, Gigi is pronounced just like the letters GG. Elia is like the beginning of Ellie and the ending of Sophia. Gia is like the letter G followed by the short /u/sound. And Gracie I think is self explanatory. I have created a poll on the side bar, so you can be anonymously honest and vote on which one you like best if you would like to. Thanks for the input you have given me so far…it has really helped ease my mind with the possible names we have chose.
Ok…now for Mother’s Day. Last year Mother’s Day was extremely difficult. It had only been 2 weeks and one day since I had the girls. I think I was numb. I did the usual things we always do, but just felt empty inside. We did add one more thing to the day and that was a visit to the cemetery, I never thought I would be visiting a cemetery on Mother’s Day to be with my children. How quickly life can change. I really don’t know how I managed to even get out of bed and function on last year, but I did. This year is different. The pain isn’t as raw. It still hurts to know that all my children aren’t here to celebrate this special day with me, but I think I am accepting it…kind of. I feel caught in limbo. Caught between missing Sophia & Ellie and all the things we would be doing with them right now and between accepting this new baby into our lives. It is a weird position to be in and I don’t really know how to describe it. It is almost like my heart is in two different places, still grieving for the ones I am missing and yet so full of love for the one I am going to meet soon.
I hope you all have a peaceful Mother’s Day. I hope you are recognized for the wonderful mothers you are to all of your children, whether they are here on Earth or soaring in the sky. To let you know that I appreciate you as the mother you are and the friend you have been to be, I am doing a giveaway. Someone IRL asked me to make a necklace for her. She has experienced losses of her own and wanted something to honor those lives. This heart is stamped with a line from a poem written by e.e. cummings:
i carry your heart
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
I think this poem beautifully describes what many of us who have lost children feel. Our babies are with us wherever we go. What we do, they do, what we feel, they feel…we carry them anywhere we go.
To enter to win this necklace, just leave me a comment. I will be randomly choosing a winner on Tuesday, May 11th. And just in case you didn’t get the perfect gift you were hoping for, you can order from my etsy shop and save 15% off any order now through Tuesday. Just enter code MDBLM in message to seller.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you.
To my sweet Sophia & Ellie,
You girls have made me the mother I am today. I love you for all you have brought to my life. Although you two are missing from it, if not for you, I would be missing so much more.
I love you!!