the button is up!!!

The button is up and the code is ready for you to copy and paste onto your blog to help spread the word about the 25 Days of Giveaways! Only 4 more days till the first one!!!!! Eeeek!!! Just want to say a HUGE thank you to two lovely ladies, Angie and Fran , who helped me TREMENDOUSLY with the button! Thanks girls! xo

25 days of giveaways

Last Sunday, I sent an e-mail to all those who said they would like to host a day. I haven't heard from many of you, so check your junk mail and if you don't see it e-mail me at hutchtina@bak.rr.com. I just want to make sure everyone gets the info and know when their day is!

On another note, today is the 25th. That means 2 years and 7 months without my girls. I'm so thankful to have them in my life, even though it is not in the capacity I wish they were in it. It's amazing to me how my grief has changed. I remember in the early days reading posts by other mothers who were further out from their loss. I would think that time would never help to heal my brokeness. However, it has. My girls are in my thoughts constantly. I see their memory box and sketch many times throughout the day. Today I put up their little Christmas tree. They are a part of my everyday life, but I still wish they were physically here.

25 days of giveaways

It's on!!!! Thank you so much to all of you who have agreed to participate. I will get an e-mail out with more info by next weekend. There were a couple people who had special requests and I will do everything I can to accomodate you. If there is anyone else who would still like to host a day, there is still room, we can always have 2 giveaways on one day!!! Thank you all, without you, this wouldn't be a success. xo

25 days of giveaways

Ok! Twelve people have said they would like to participate in the giveaways, well I guess thirteen counting me! Anyone else out there interested?? Your item DOES NOT have to be handmade. It can be anything you choose. The giveaways are open to all baby loss parents. If your think you might be interests. Leave a comment here along with your email address. To those of you who commented on the last post, I will get more info out once I see if more people are interested. Thanks so much!!
xo

25 days of giveaway????

Oh goodness am I a bad blogger!! I have been so busy and really just haven't had much new to write. Today I realized it was November. Now I knew it was November, but just hadn't thought much about what I should be doing to get ready for December! It will be here so soon! So, I'm just wondering who might be interested in hosting a giveaway in December. They will start on the first and end the 25th, that is if we get enough participants. If you're interested, please leave a comment here and your email address. If you don't know about the giveaways but would like to find out what they are, go to my posts from last December and you will see what a great thing this has been for the baby loss community. Happy November everyone!! Only 50 days till Christmas! :/

hall pass

I realized something tonight, something that I have NEVER given a thought to in the past 2 years and 5 months. I really am surprised at myself, kind of embarrassed too...

Hutch and I watched "Hall Pass" tonight (a pretty funny movie if you haven't seen it.) At the end, one of the characters, Fred, is at the hospital and on his way up to see his wife. I wondered what he was thinking at that moment. Then it hit me...

When I went into labor with Sophia and Ellie, Hutch was not home, he had left earlier that morning for a golf tournament. My mom took me to the hospital and I called Hutch and told him something was wrong and he needed to meet us there. He drove from the golf course to the hospital (probably a 30 minute drive under normal circumstances) and came up the elevator by himself. I wonder what he was thinking, how he was feeling. I am sure he was scared to see what he was walking into, although he knew it wasn't good. He got there just in time for both of our beautiful daughters to be born.

I can't believe I have never thought about how he was feeling on his way to us, what he was thinking, how he was coping with the possibilities of who knows what at that point. I usually think about other people's feelings, I try really hard to, but this has never entered my mind. I suppose I could ask him, but the time needs to be right. I guess I have been so wrapped up in my own grief and my own memories of that day that I never thought about what he was feeling before he got there. Maybe the fact that I am realizing this now means I am making progress. Or maybe this silly little movie we watched just triggered this for me. It's funny, the things that make me think of my little ones. But then again, they are always right there, in all my thoughts.

a sweet conversation

We were standing in line, an elderly lady was behind us and talking to us about Gigi.

lady (to Emma): Are you her big sister?

Emma: Yes.

lady: Do you have any other brothers or sisters?

Emma: Yes, I have a brother and two other sisters.

me: a big smile and a very warm heart

That girl of mine is the sweetest!

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Tomorrow is my EDD (2 years ago). I know Sophia & Ellie wouldn't have made it to their due date, but it still makes me sit here and wonder what my life would be like with 2 two year olds. I wish I knew.

Tomorrow is also the day I miscarried the first pregnancy after the twins. I can't imagine our lives without Gigi, but I still wonder who that little one was.