where have i been?

Its been so long…I don’t even know how 2 months have passed and I haven’t written here once.  I have thought of it, I have had it on my to do list, I have had good intentions…but it just hasn’t happened.  I have so much going on right now that as I type this I am thinking of the million other things I should be doing.  I just want it all to go away so I can stop and just be.  Friday was 22 months…how is that even possible, almost two years without Sophia & Ellie.  I wasn’t able to go to the cemetery because of all this other stuff on my plate.  I hate it when I cant’ make it out there, but I will go soon.  I feel like I don’t even have time to grieve, to be sad, to just think about my girls.  I keep telling myself that everything will settle down, but I’m just not convinced yet. 

Here is what’s going on…We have sold our house (finally!) and escrow closes on March 10th.  The new house we have purchased doesn’t close until March 31st…so we have a few weeks where we will be living with my parents…fun times!  So I have this whole house to pack up, I just started yesterday (thank you mother!)  I have been keeping very busy with my etsy shop and I am so happy about that, but I worry that because of my lack of time I am not getting orders out as quickly as normal and I don’t want to upset my customers.  Work is a huge source of my problem…I know I’m not doing as good of a job as I could be if I were working part time.  I told the powers that be this would happen when they decided to not let me job share.  I keep telling myself that I’m doing the best I can, I truly I am…I just know its not my best.  I can’t imagine having to work full time again next year, I really need to find something part time…I REALLY NEED TO!  I am so far behind on just daily things, cooking (haven’t done that in a very long time), cleaning, balancing my checkbook…all those fun things.  I hate to take the time out of my days at home to do these things because I try to spend every second I can with Gigi (and Brady & Emma too!)  All of this (and other things) are keeping my head spinning.  I think about my girls everyday, but I don’t feel like I really have time to think about them.

We have signed up to do the March for Babies in memory of Sophia and Ellie.  If you are a fb friend you may have seen my contest.  I am doing another one here, only for blm’s.  Here is the deal…If you would like to make a donation to our team, for every $5 you contribute, you will be entered to win a $40 gift certificate to my etsy shop.  If you would like to donate and enter to win, you can click the “Donate Now” button on the March for Babies badge up on the left.  Now I know some of you donated already (THANK YOU VERY MUCH) and if you are wondering why it says $0 raised so far, it is because I had linked the first contest to the team page instead of my personal page.  It all goes to the same place in the end, but the funds are kept separate.  I will keep the contest open until March 15th when I randomly choose a winner.

So there you have it…my life in a nutshell!  I have been trying to keep up with everyone's  blogs , but I just haven't had time to even get on the computer lately.  June isn’t too far away…I can’t wait to have my life back!!!!

finally…a winner!

Sorry for the delay in choosing a winner, but after having to post EVERYDAY for almost a whole month, I think I deserved needed a little break! After all, these fingers of mine just aren't used to this much typing, actually this brain of mine isn't used to this much thinking!!

So onto the winners…yes that's right I picked two! Using random.org the first winner is commenter #12, Sad Kitty at The Nature of Balloons and winner number two is commenter #4, Angie at Still Life with Circles!!! Congratulations to you both. I can’t wait to work with each of you on these very special pieces.

I wish I could make all of you something for your precious babies, but that just isn’t feasible! However, if you would like to place an order through my shop, you can use code “25dog” for 15% off your order until January 5th. If you don’t see what you’re looking for send me a message and we can work it all out.

Thanks again for participating in the giveaways. I hope we can do it again next year! Wishing you all a peaceful New Year filled with your hearts’ desires and comfort for the absence that will always be felt in your souls.

Oh...and I'm serious about needing some advice on how to fix my little problem of not being able to follow new blogs. HELP!!!!

day 25!!!!!

ZERO!!!! This is it! The last day for giveaways!!! Thank you all so much for participating, whether it be by hosting a day or entering to win, your participation is what make this all happen. Thank you also for your kind words to me. I guess I really didn’t know the impact these little giveaways had until I read your sweet comments and so many of you said the same thing.

I would like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. I wish for you a peaceful day and gentle thoughts of your babies that will be missing from your day’s celebrations. I know I have struggled over the last few days just thinking of how this holiday should be. I miss my girls, however I do take much comfort in thinking that Hutch’s grandma is looking after them.

Since I can’t mail you all a Christmas card, here it is on my blog. I don’t know if you can read it or not, but the front says, “Blessed. So much to be grateful for this holiday season.” When I was choosing my cards (I went with Tiny Prints this year and LOVED them!!) I liked the looks of this one, but I really didn’t pay attention to any of the wording on it because that can always be changed. Once I decided I liked the layout of the pictures I read the card and thought it was perfect. We are blessed and we do have so much to be grateful for. We still miss our girls, and that will never change, but nevertheless, we are grateful for the ones who are here with us. The inside has Sophia’s & Ellie’s Christmas Tree in the sand that Carly drew for us. It is beautiful! Just my way of including them.

Okay, so onto the giveaways. I really don’t even want to tell you about the first one because I really want to win! But I will, today we are going back to see Amelia’s mommy, Stephanie, at Carried Through Grief. Stephanie is such an amazing painter and she has TWO paintings she is giving away today to two lucky winner! Go check it out, you’ll love them!

I am hosting the other giveaway today. So many of us have a certain phrase, saying, object, whatever that we associate with our babies. I want to work with the winner to come up with a very special piece of jewelry that captures their baby’s spirit perfectly. You may have something you have seen in the past, or an idea in your head, or no idea at all! But we will be working together closely to make it just right. Here are some things that come to mind that I have done in the past:

To enter my giveaway leave a comment here telling me a little something about what you think you may like if you win. I will choose a winner in a couple days because I know you are going to be too busy to visit today!

Merry Christmas my friends!

Sophia and Ellie mommy is missing you today and loving you always. xoxo

day 24

ONE!!!!!!!   Today we are going to see Kennedy’s mommy, Alissa, at On KK’s Butterfly Wings.  Alissa has the following quote at the top of her blog, “I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."  I’m sure you know that this is from the book Love You Forever  by Robert Munsch.  I have this little thing I do…I buy books for Sophia & Ellie and this is one that I have for them.  I actually have a few copies of this, one is Emma’s, I have at least one in my classroom, but Sophia & Ellie have their own very special copy…just for them.  The message in this book is beautiful and really, I don’t think I have even read it out loud since losing the girls, it was hard enough for me to get through without crying before their deaths!  Anyway, thank you Alissa for these simple words, because that is one of many things we all have in common, we will love our special babies forever and always.  Go on over and see what special thing Alissa is giving away today.  Don’t forget to come back tomorrow for our final giveaways!!!!!  Good luck!

day 23

TWO!!! Oops, so sorry I didn’t get this up sooner, I fell asleep last night and completely forgot about this post.  I guess all those late nights are finally catching up to me.  Anyway, there is a great giveaway going on today.  All of them have been GREAT, but today’s is just a little different.  Today’s giveaway is being hosted by Hadley’s mama, Jessica, at Four Plus an Angel.  Jessica has really pulled many resources to make her special giveaway happen.  Go on over and check it out, I think you’ll love it!  Good luck and see you tomorrow!!

day 22

THREE!!  Today we are going to visit Aiden’s mommy, Angie, at Expectations Revised.  I am new to Angie’s blog, but one thing I LOVE about it is right under her heading she has the following line, “Remember. Honor. Celebrate. Love. December Maya, Mason, Lyra Mae, Lucia Paz”  These are the December babies who are having a birthday this month…LOVE it!  What a sweet and simple way for her to say she is thinking about others.  Go on over and take a peek at her giveaway.  She has some information posted about it in her sidebar.  Today we are also going to see Calvin, and Rainbow’s mommy, Crystal Theresa, at Blessed to be Broken.  This is another new blog for me, I love meeting all the new mamas out there!  Anyway, stop on over and meet Crystal Theresa (if you haven’t met before) and see what she is offering today.  In one of her recent posts, Crystal Theresa has a bit about referring to our babies as angels.  I think this sums up how I use the term quite well…see what you think about it too!  Good luck and see you again tomorrow!!

day 21

FOUR. MORE. DAYS. (insert screaming here!) Okay, I feel better now, onto the giveaways! Today we are going to see Gracie’s mama, Susan, at Our Lives Forever Changed. Susan has offered me lots of support and comfort since we “met.” She is a sincere woman and a dear friend. Go see her lovely giveaway, won’t you? We are also going to visit Devon’s mommy, Monica, at Honoring Our Angels. I am new to Monica’s story (and really need someone to help me fix it so I can follow new blogs…read here to see what I’m talking about!) but she beautifully honors her angel and many others on her blog. She spotlights other blogs (these giveaways were featured a couple weeks ago, thanks Monica!) and provides many helpful resources to bereaved families. Go on over and pay her a visit, maybe you’ll see something new. Good luck and see you back here tomorrow!!