Part 2...TWINS!!!

Then in December 2008 I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive!!!

After the initial shock wore off, we were so excited. We were not actively TTC, but knew it was a possibility. I really felt that this baby was meant to be. I couldn't wait to add another member to our family.

The pregnancy was progressing well. We only told a few people we were expecting because of my past history. I didn't want to have to explain a miscarriage to Emma. She had been wanting a baby brother or sister for quite some time and I just knew she would be so excited about it!!! So we waited to tell the kids and most people until we heard the heartbeat.

At 12 weeks we went in for our appointment and heard the heartbeat, just one. We felt everything was going well with the pregnancy, so it was finally safe to tell the kids. A few days later we announced it to them. Of course, Emma was thrilled and Brady was excited too in his own quiet way. After the announcement to them everyone else soon knew, Emma couldn't keep it a secret and it was time to spill the beans.

At 15 weeks I had a little bit of spotting. We went in to see a nurse practitioner. She came in the room, pulled back the gown and said, "Whoa, how far along are you?" I said, "Fifteen weeks." "Either you are off on your dates, or there's TWO in there!" Well I knew I wasn't off on my dates, but I thought NO WAY!!! What are the chances of there being TWO babies in there? NO WAY!!! So she checked me and said everything seemed fine, but she sent me down to ultrasound to check how many babies we had.

Now, I have to say that all along I had felt bigger, faster with this pregnancy. We joked about twins, but NEVER thought it was a possibility. I just figured it was my third baby, sixth pregnancy, I was 34, and that is why I was getting bigger.

We sat in the lobby waiting to see the u/s tech. Hutch was freaked...TWO babies??? I told him to relax, there was no way there were two. The tech called us back. She squirted the gel on my belly, put the wand on and within a few seconds she said, "There's two!" OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hutch was in disbelief. He just sat there, very quietly. I too was in disbelief, but all I could do was giggle. The tech had to ask me to keep still so she could finish the u/s. WOW...TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How exciting!!! I felt so lucky, like I had won the lottery. We hadn't planned on having 2 more kids, but oh my gosh what a MIRACLE!!! I truly felt like this was meant to be.


(Today is two months since losing the girls. This is all I can write for now. It hurts too much to relive it all at once...)

Part 1...The Beginning

Hutch & I got married February 3, 1996. We were young and carefree and enjoying life. He had recently graduated from college and I was still working on finishing up (he is much more driven than I am.) Within the first year of being married, we became pregnant. We were excited, but a little scared as well. This was going to be a new adventure for us.

We had a very normal and uneventful pregnancy and Brady was born June 26, 1997. He was a big beautiful baby that we adored. Oh I forgot to mention that at my 20 week ultrasound, we were told we were having a girl!! Much to our surprise, he wasn't. When the doctor delivered him, she said, "It's a boy!" Hutch said, "Is she joking?!?" After adjusting to our BOY, our new life began.

When Brady was 3 1/2 years old he was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. This can be a very debilitating disease that can have long lasting, life altering effects. We did not know what the outcome would be for our son, and decided that if we were going to have to live with major handicaps, we might not want to have anymore children. We thought it would not be fair to Brady or to any siblings if so much time would have to be devoted to this terrible disease. After battling with JRA for about one year, he was considered symptom free and in remission!!!

That was when we could start thinking about having another baby. The summer of 2002 I became pregnant. Brady was 5 and had started Kindergarten. Everything seemed to be normal with the pregnancy until my 12 week appointment. It was the first time we were going to hear the baby's heartbeat. The doctor put the Doppler on my belly, but she could not find the heartbeat. She sent me down to ultrasound and again, no heartbeat. I was devastated. Not only had we lost this baby, but now I had to tell our son that this baby would not be. This baby that probably didn't even seem real to him, was not going to be in our lives. It was very sad, but we moved on.

The next year was spent trying to get pregnant again, which I did...two more times, which both also ended in miscarriage. These latter two miscarriages happened very early on. I did not know I was pregnant either time, until I started cramping and bleeding heavily and went in for lab work. This is when I found out I had been pregnant. At this point my doctor had me tested for various conditions that could possibly explain the three losses.

My lab work came back borderline for Anticardiolipin syndrome which means I have a clotting disorder that blocks blood supply to the placenta. Finally, an explanation and a solution. As soon as I found out I was pregnant again, I would have to start daily injections of the blood thinner Lovenox and take baby aspirin. I would have to do this until 34 weeks gestation. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but at least I had hope.

In August of 2003, I became pregnant again. I immediately started the injections and aspirin and things were moving along just fine. We heard the heartbeat early on and saw the baby via ultrasound many times. This time we found out we were having a girl, and every time we had an ultrasound I made sure she still looked like a girl...no surprises this time!!! Finally on May 21, 2004 (a few weeks early) we had our daughter, Emma. She was beautiful and perfect.

We were loving our family, but part of me always wanted to add more to it. We have a 7 year gap between our first two kids and time just kept passing us by. Our kids just kept getting older and older (it's funny how they do that) and before we knew it Brady was 11 and Emma was 4. That meant Kindergarten for her next year and maybe back to work full time for me.

Then in December 2008 I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive!!!