25 days of giveaways!!! Day 1

First of all I would like to thank you for visiting and participating in the giveaways this year.  Last year, when I had this crazy idea, I never thought it would turn into something like this.  It was much bigger than I ever thought and it brought a little bit of happiness into some very dark days for so many of us.  It also connected me to many new moms who were on my same path.  This year I am in a much better place.  Oh I still miss my Sophia & Ellie with all my heart, but things are different; easier somehow.  I know those of you who are new to this journey may not believe that things will ever be easier or that you will ever feel better, but you will.  I still have my moments where the pain is so intense, but I am still better.  Better emotionally, but just better in general for having these sweet, beautiful babies in my life.  I really do feel so lucky to be their mommy.

Okay, okay enough with my babbling!  I know what you all came for…

The FIRST day of giveaways!  Today there will be two places to visit and enter to win something special.  Go on over and visit Florence’s mommy, Jeanette, at Lazy Seamstress and look at all the lovely things she makes!  Wow, I wish I could be her for just one day…she is sooo incredibly talented. 

Your second stop is right here…my blog.  I’m not giving away anything from my shop today…you will have to check back later for that.  I have something very exciting…I don’t even really want to tell you what it is!  Maybe I’ll just keep it for myself!  Okay, well I can’t do that because its really not mine to keep. 

I ran across a wonderful site one day, Simply Silhouettes.  I was looking around at all their wonderful items and saw a link to My First Silhouette, ultrasound art.  These wonderful people turn ultrasound pictures into beautiful works of art.  Need I say anymore?  How amazing is this?!?!?  A way to capture a true picture of my girls.  Don’t get me wrong, I ADORE their sketch, but to have a real picture would be amazing!!! 

Okay..back to the giveaway!  I’m really not one who likes to ask people for things, but I thought, “What do I have to lose?” I contacted the company and they so generously agreed to donate an 8x10 gallery wrapped canvas for this giveaway!  (Thank you Angela!!!)  Isn’t that amazing?  (okay I have used amazing way too many times in this post!)  Here are some examples of what they do:

See…I told you they are AMAZING!!!  Go on over and check out their lovely sites.  But, before you do, leave a comment here and tell me how wonderful this artwork is…I will randomly choose a winner soon, so hurry and see if you can think of another adjective besides mine to describe these pieces!

Don’t forget to check back here tomorrow to see where to go for the next giveaway!!

25 Days of Giveaways!

I have the schedule done and sent out to everyone, but I am missing some e-mail addresses!!! If you plan on hosting a day and haven't heard from me, please e-mail me asap! I know I am missing these lovely ladies:

Mrs. A from What's Cooking...or Not
Lost for words
Jessica from 4 Plus an Angel
Mary from The Youngs
Heather from Two in Heaven One on Earth
Mindy from Dear Henry August
Crystal Teresa from Blessed To Be Broken

Check back on the first to see who is hosting the first giveaways...yes there are TWO!!!!

i wonder...

if babies born at 21 weeks will ever have a chance to survive.

I hope so, I wish they would have 19 months ago.

Today is prematurity awareness day and it has my mind spinning. Just thinking all the what ifs again. I know it doesn't do any good and I know I will never have the answers, but I still think them. I still want to know if there was something that could have prevented my preterm labor. I wish there would have been...

I wore purple today and asked a couple friends at work to do so too for me and my girls...they did. I was also touched that a couple more friends who I didn't mention it to, but read my fb status wore purple too. There was just a handful of us, but they did it for me, for Sophia & Ellie, and that just makes me...happy, I guess.

So the 25 Days of Giveaways is happening and I will get the schedule set up and e-mailed to those of you who are hosting a day as soon as I can, hopefully before Thanksgiving. The first giveaway will be December 1st, so mark your calenders!!

25 Days of Giveaways!

In case you haven't heard, the 25 Days of Giveaways is definitely happening!!! Please help to spread the word and grab the button for your blog! (Thanks Angie for the artwork and thanks Fran for helping make the button!!) If you are interested in hosting a day, please let me know. I am sooo excited about one of the giveaways I am doing...you will have to stay tuned to see it, but I really don't know how long I can keep it a secret!!!!!!!!! Thanks to all of you for making this possible for the second year. xx

heavy heart

I have a heavy heart…I suppose I always will, but sometimes it just hurts more than others and I don’t know why.  I think it is just grief’s nasty way.  I should be excited, I should be happy, I should be anxious…tomorrow I am meeting some other blm’s and I really am excited, but I still hurt too.  Maybe it is the closeness of us all (if that makes any sense) that has my mind wrapped around my girls and unable to let go.  I just miss them, I just want them here, I just want them out of the ground, I just need them in arms, safe and sound.  I need to wake up and this all be a horrible nightmare, but it’s not going away…ever.

So, tomorrow…I am going down south to meet Rachel, Bree,  maybe Tiffany, and a couple other’s that I don’t think I know yet.  I am so excited to be meeting these wonderful ladies face to face.  

25 Days of Giveaways is definitely on!!!!  If you commented about hosting a day I have you penciled in (that’s a lie, I haven’t planned any of it yet, but I will) for your day to host a giveaway.  I will be contacting all of you soon and I will kickoff the first giveaway December 1st.  So glad you all are looking forward to this again, as I am too.  Please help to spread the word so we can brighten everyone’s days this season.

Love you girls!! xx, Mommy

25 days of giveaways???

When I think back to this time last year I can see just how far I have come.  Last year I was dreading the holidays.  I needed something in my life to bring a little bit of joy every day.  I needed something to occupy my thoughts and my time.  That is why I did the 25 Days of Giveaways.  I am in such a better place now, but I know another holiday season without Sophia & Ellie is still going to hurt.  I know for so many other people this will be the first holiday season without their babies and if I, I mean we, can help to spread some joy to others, then I would love to take this on again.  Please give me your thoughts and feedback.  I have so little extra time right now, so I am going to have to be extra organized and if no one feels it is really necessary, then I just won’t do it and that will be okay with me too.  However, if you are interested, if you feel it helped to brighten your days last year, or if you would like to host a day, please let me know so I can star making arrangements!

Speaking of the holiday season (yes i know we haven’t even hit Halloween yet!) I received our first ornaments of 2010 today.  A nice little surprise from my parents.

All my children

My sweet Sophia & Ellie

 

Thanks mom and dad for always remembering!

October 15th and random things

Where to begin…

First of all, I did get my page done in Angie’s Travelling Journal, but just didn’t get around to posting a picture until now.

This was so hard for me because all the other women had included a beautiful painting, or creative scrapbook page…I don’t paint and scrapbooking takes too much time. But I do know how to stamp jewelry, so that is what I decided to stick with even though it may be unconventional. The words on the larger silver disc and the negative feelings that come to mind when I think of the events surrounding my girls’ deaths. On the gold inner disc are the positive things I feel when I think of my beautiful babies. The capital letters on the outer disc spell SOPHIA and ELLIE. So this is my creation for the journal…no one will ever wear it but it is my expression of feelings through art.

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When I was pregnant with Gigi, I worried about her living in Sophia’s & Ellie’s shadow. I thought I may have negative feelings about her being here and them not. I thought it may be hard to love her without thinking of them. Since having Gigi, I have not experienced any of these things. Yes, as I was giving birth I cried because I was thinking of giving birth to Sophia & Ellie and how sad that was, but I also cried because I was welcoming our new one into the word. Yes, after bringing her home I looked at their pictures and tried to compare her to them to see if they look alike. Yes, when Gigi was having a hard time nursing I wondered how in the world I could have handled TWO babies. But my love for them and my love for her are two distinct things. I love all three of them, just like I love the two that came before them.

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Yesterday…the 15th. It in a way angers me that the whole month of October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, yet no one seems to know. Even people in real life who have lost babies don’t know about it, even the cemetery that has a whole section dedicated to babies doesn't’ seem to know. We share this month with Breast Cancer Awareness, but I think we definitely get overshadowed. And really…who on this planet isn’t aware of breast cancer? I wish more was done to raise awareness of pregnancy and infant loss and I guess it is up to us to do that. And…I think we (all of us) have done a great job doing this. Every time I check fb, someone has posted something about the topic and I think it is a great way to get the word out there to all who do not know about the pain this type of loss causes so many people every day.

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Last night we went to the cemetery. Along with my wonderful helpers, I put a candle on most (I sadly ran out) of the headstones. We lit the candles and let them burn for an hour, I wanted to let them burn all night, but was afraid of catching the cemetery on fire…not a good thing! So as I fed Gigi in the car, my helpers sadly went through and blew out all the candles, all but Sophia’s and Ellie’s. As we lit the candles I thought of all your babies. I don’t know any of the babies in this cemetery but mine, and I was lighting those candles for them too, but I was thinking of all of you and your babies and thankful that I have found each and everyone of you because you have all touched me in some way.

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The amazing Debby at For Your Tears is doing a giveaway in honor of October 15th. She is offering a gift certificate to my etsy shop. Go on over and leave her a comment to enter to win. There is also a special discount code you can get there if you want to place an order this weekend. But hurry because I don’t know when she is choosing a winner!!

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Missing you always sweet ones. xoxo, Mommy