today

Today I will be attending a funeral for a baby who lived 5 days. A friend in real life who is living a pain I know all too well. I am so sorry for her, for her husband, and their living daughters. They are the sweetest people and don't deserve this; none of us do.

I'm not sure how I'm feeling. I think I'm okay, but it's bringing me right back to those early days two+ years ago when I was faced with the reality that my babies would not be coming home. The reality that I would have to plan their funeral, pick out their casket, tell my older children that their sisters died. I don't let myself go there very often, it is too dark, too raw, too painful. I choose to remember them in a beautiful way because they were beautiful, they are beautiful.

So today as I remember sweet Leanna with her family, Sophia & Ellie will be right there in my thoughts too, but really, they always are anyways.